Firstly, let me state that I'm so glad to live in an America where googling "satanic governor" isn't just for fun anymore!
In case this is news to you, MN Gubernatorial candidate Johnathan "the impaler" Sharkey ran on a platform of serving the dark lord Satan and personally ritualistically impaling criminals in front of the capital building (veiw the rest of his here.
Apparently, things arn't going so well for Sharkey lately. First, he was arrested, and now his wife has been fired from her job as a school bus driver on the grounds that she is a Pagan. School officials arn't trying to hide the reasons, saying they "don't think she's a good rolemodel."
What is the moral of the story? That it's stupid to be a Satanist. You see, Satan is an underachiever.
As everyone knows, Jesus has George Bush on his VAD (Voice Activated Dialup-- fer you ol timers), and when the J. man wanted his guy in office, he got it. Satan, on the other hand can't even get his people a buss driving job. You see, Satan needs to set his goals a little higher-- all he was going for was a few impalings on the state dime. Jesus on the other hand has apparently followed through on two invasions, the overthrow of 4 governments, the destruction of New Orleans (according to Pat Robertson and others...) the attack on the world trade center (according to evangelical leaders) countless deaths in Iraq.... and on and on. Really, when it comes to death and destruction Jesus has the market cornered.
And Sharkey might look mean with that sword, but remember, Dick has a shot gun.
On a different note, I feel beset by a band of viscious cavemen. My alarm-clock/radio sent my fight or flight mechanism into high gear this morning with this top story:
Congress declares "the rapture is near-- there is no longer any such thing as a deficit!" According to unamed sources:
"well with this rapture thing here, it's not like we'll need social security--(shouting madly:) tax cuts for everyone! I'm buying 17 hookers." In other news, America is ****ed!
I think it's time for lucky to take a break from the news for a while.
Penultimate ramble:
My new class started this morning. Gee wiz, I'm practically working like, "real work" hours.... I need a nap.
Final bit:
Um, I forgot what I was going to say....
2 comments:
Thanks for the myspace signup so you can comment there....hope to see you there often...it's fun....
See you soon?
~TMK
Umm...Maybe he and his wife should try and get jobs at the Ren Faire. I could try and put in a good word for them, but I don't know even they might not take them...mmm nahhh.
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