The Glamorous life

Well the holliday season is upon us, and between rehearsals, performances and the end of the academic semester, I have lost my writing time, well, actually, I've lost all my free time...

Which is really too bad because I have so much to write about now. Last week, I was at a ESL/Adult Ed/Linguistics conference, and I attended a seminar on the "hidden language of poverty." The point was easy enough, that there are hidden values that the multigenerational poor have that keep them poor. Myself being from 4 or more generations of America's poorest white people, I was continuously confronted by the fact that I hold many of these values. And I was at the same time deeply offended by the assumption that "middle class values" were supperior. This is true when you judge them soley on the pragmatic basis of making money-- if you value money above all things you will certainly make money-- but do you lose your soul doing it?

This is something I've recognized since my first real girlfriend. She was from a definatively middle class upbringing, and I was constantly appalled by her values. Her parents had divorced early in their marriage because her dad valued family time first and her mom valued achievement first. She constantly criticized her dad-- "what a waste of potential, he could have made something of his life." He put aside his college degrees and did the most disgusting thing his middle class wife could imagine-- he went to work as a union organizer. He still worked hard, and he made a comfortable living, but when the work week was done, he wanted to spend his time with family. And what he wanted to offer his children was his time-- but what his daughter learned to want from him was his money. "He should have worked harder to save money for me to go to college." She would always say with complete contempt. He eventually found a family that valued him for what he was-- a great Dad, but his daughters from his first marriage never learned to see it.