I murdered my ex wife, what did you do?

The place: Federal maximum security penitentiary. Even through the dim lighting you can see the grime and grease-stained floors-- rusted bars.

The dark figures of hardened criminals rise and swarm around the new addition to their cell. They swagger and strut menacingly with the body language of sharks surrounding their pray.

Inmate one: Fresh meat on deck boys!

(sounds of laughter. The new guy, LUCKYMORTAL sits quietly but intensely, unmoved by the taunts of the other criminals)

Inmate two: Well, fresh meat, you gonna tell us your name?

Luckymortal doesn't respond, he just continues to sit in silence.

Inmate two: You hear me fresh meat?! I'm talkin' t'you! Why, I ought ta rip you up, just like I did that stupid....

Inmate three: that's right, "Sharkey" here, he killed his mail carrier. Ripped her apart with his bare hands! (some more laughter. Inmate three continues quietly in a raspy voice:) Me, I killed my wife. Stabbed her sixteen times in that black pit she called a heart. What did you do to get here fresh meat? Go on and confess your sins before we mop up the floor in here with your worthless hide!

(finally, luckymortal rises slowly, his face just inches away from the other inmate's. He doesn't flinch, staring at him with his soulless eyes. He spits on the floor. Them slowly and calmly, his hardened voice rasping:

Luckymortal: I conjugated a verb in front of some mexicans

commotion ensues, the other prisoners recoil with shocked expressions of horror. Luckymortal curls his lip with a menacing snear and laughs a cold evil laugh....

This blog drama brought to you by HR 4437, which would criminalize helping undocumented immigrants in any way: including teaching them English. The bill would make such violations of immigration law "aggravated felonies"-- a category usually reserved for the most violent crimes like premeditated murder and rape.