I have discovered the meaning of life and it is....

The quilt.

I have it on good hearsay that the creator of the universe really, really likes a good quilt. So much so that he created this little ball of quiltin' materials we call "Earth" just to add to his collection.

The Mysteries of Life Explained AT LAST:

When he created two of each animal, he had one of two things in mind-- 1. food for quilters. 2. Keep the quilter population down to prevent disease and famine.

Sharks were invented because the creator of the universe hates soggy quilts.

As for humans, he had one thing in mind-- makin' babies, and makin' quilts. In fact, my sources say that the reason for human frailty at the beginning and end of life is to provide an incentive for quilt making. Human suffering, to provoke comfort quilts.

All the rest of us here are just an elaborate support structure for the chosen ones.

Was Ronald Reagan right when he claimed that god created aids? If so, why would god do something like that...? hmm....