In lue of any onther Medium picking up the pen in the name of our dearly departed hero, I once again chanel our beloved shoe salesmen lost in Uzbekistan....
the table shakes, my eyes roll about in my head...
the lights dim, and candles spontaineously combust...
Ectoplasm oozes from my skin to form a perfectly stacked pile of moist towellets which I wll save for use the next time uncle Evan makes his decliciously sticky barbeque ribs-- this is a gift of my late Grandfather, who claimed to have been the true inventor of what he called "damp hankies," thanks Gramps....
Uuuuuuuuugghhhhhhhhh Nike shoes, nike shoes, nike shoe....
Harken, the dead man speaketh:
Its a well known scientific fact that the dead are not constrained by the laws of thermodynamics. Hence we are the freest of the freeence deance. With the time-glue of entropy come undone, the dead loiter through their lives like 28-year-old reunionees through the vacant halls of their alma mater-- poking through the old locker, and stolling past dead memories.
I myself have relived one particular event 476 times. When I was in Jr. Highschool, my best friend Mark was, well, lets just say he was going through an awkward period. I on the other hand was sipping my first shots of popularity. I wish I had been strong enough in life, to be a good friend to Mark but I wasn't. So 476 times now, without the shackles of entropy, I have relived this event backwards, and I have acted like the friend I should have been. When I relive this event in reverse, here's how it goes:
I feel terrified and ashamed. Mark stands in front of me in the crowded lunchroom-- someone has splattered food all over his shirt. He looks as ashamed and terrified as I feel. I laugh and look around at the "in crowd" apparently applauding me. Boldly, I suck the food off of his shirt, and pull it back onto the plate in my hands, and I set it safely on the table behind me. Mark looks happy again. He says to me these strange words that seem to be magical: "?uoy ot txen tis I naC" Suddenly I feel happy again, and I walk away from that table of judgemental jocks, laughing with my best friend.
I don't often revist my highschool years, where our roles were reversed. Mark would eventually become a great athlete and a college quarterback, with all the popularity that goes with that. I on the other hand would become insufferably geeky. Where I had failed, though, Mark would often talk to me and try to be nice, but we were never really friends after Jr. High.
Thursday, December 01, 2005
NEW!!!! Add on Chapter 4!!!!
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I have found we all have to let things go from our past. I will tell you something...I too had a taste of popularity once, I think it is all we crave when we are young. I had just moved and was immediatly befriended by the groundlings of the school that happened to live in my neighborhood. I didn't know any better and was happy just to have friends...then the popular kids discovered that I was amusing and decided to take me under their wing. So I ditched my geeky friends and changed all my classes so I could be with my new popular friends. Yes I too look back and feel awful for turning my back on them. Then it all went really wrong, see I went through most of my life watching the popular kids tease and make fun of other kids. So when I finally had this opportunity to be popular, I did what I thought popular kids do. And I learned very quickly....don't rip on seemingly geeky kids that happen to be friends with the popular kids that made you popular to begin with. So I was cornered in the girls locker room by all my popular friends and told that I was....well what I was...and was tortured everyday forward until I left that school. Lesson well learned. I was humbled. And from that day forward I never did what everyone else did, I did what I thought was right no matter the concequence. And befriended all. And stopped caring about being popular. Strange enough when I did that the popular kids from my new school were drawn to me like bee's to honey...and what's really funny is that I didn't want anything to do with them because most of them were asses and just thought about parting and getting laid. So I said no thanks and kept with my real friends. It took me until I was 23 to completly let all that and the other horrible things that happened to me in my past go. I feel so much more positive, like a burden, a mass of negativity has been lifted from my shoulders. I had to not care anymore and that is one thing that is very hard for me to do, but I did it and it makes you a better person for you and others around you.
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